In my life there are 2 Seasons not 4!

Baby faces!

Lately, I have been thinking about life. My life. I realized that since Anthony plays baseball I don't really have Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer. I have Season and off Season. ha ha. Basically season is 6 months and off season is 6 months. Give of take some weeks or months for playoffs or winter ball. From the end of February to the beginning or end of September is Season then from October to about mid February is Off season. Off season equals my favorite season ever. That includes being a normal everyday couple- Seeing each other everyday, dinner dates, Weddings with a +1, and all that normal couple stuff.  I don't know if I would consider the off season really off season because, Technically Anthony is still in full baseball mode during the off-season. There really is no off button when it comes to baseball with the kid. So every day... yes, everyday... even saturday and sundays ( boo. ) He is going to the gym, going on a run, going to the cages, going to the field, watching video on how to improve his game, and at night he is watching baseball on ESPN. There is no escaping the world of baseball when I have Ant as my Finance. Off season or Season its always baseball, baseball, baseball! ha ha  I have slowly realized over the past 3 years that in order for me to get time with ant I either have to join him at the gym, tag along on one of his runs, or go hit at the cages with him.... I don't know if I even consider this spending time together ha ha. Ill take what I can get.

It has been over a month sense I have seen Anthony. He is stuck in extended Spring training in Arizona aka- The place no ball player ever wants to be. He texts me every morning at about 5:30am saying good morning and, then he is off to baseball till about 3 or 4 in the afternoon. so, At around 4:00pm Ill hear from him again. Poor guy probably gets to annoyed of me. I swear I text him about 100 times telling him how my day is going ha ha. He probably walks back to the locker room to a phone that says "Stephanie (25) text messages" (sorry Ant.) I can't help it I love the kid and just wanna tell him my whole life story every day. Even though after spending almost 10 hours in the hot Arizona sun thats probably the last thing he wants to do is read my texts or listen to me ramble... He does it and I am so appreciative of it. But, I am happy to say that in almost one month I will get to see him and at least for the time we are together the "Stephanie (25) text messages"message he normally gets will stop. ha ha He is probably more stoked for that than actually seeing me!!! just kidding...  On another note, I think Anthony is taking full advantage of his precious tanning time in the beautiful Arizona sun. I swear he has more time to tan than I do. He is about 10 times tanner than me... totally not okay! I told him he has to take it easy with the sun because, I don't wanna look too pale next to him. I am secretly just super jealous and wish I had time to tan like he does. School and work have taken over my life... I am happy to say in 20 days I will be college graduate and then I will take full advantage of the sun, pool, and precious tanning hours! but, till then my head will remain in my books or my computer! ha ha

Countdowns:
College Graduation 21 days
See Anthony 31 days

Yay, for countdowns!

You have been running around in my dreams

OFF SEASON 2011-2012
Love Sweet Love

I cannot wait to see where life takes us.

#Blessed

xoxo- Steph

Spring Training 2012 Visit and the Post Spring Training Visit Depression!

The Best Spring Training Visit Ever!!!

My flight departed San Jose California at 9:45pm on March 22nd and I arrived In Scottsdale AZ at 11:30pm. I am beyond terrified of flying. I get extreme anxiety before take off and landing almost 99% of every flight I am on. There is something about flying to see Anthony that makes all the anxiety worth it. When I arrived in Scottsdale, Anthony was there to pick me up and take me to the hotel. It was almost midnight by the time we got to the hotel and he had to be up early in the morning for baseball so, we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. (BOO!) On a happier note me and the hotel pool got a lot of bonding time and my super pail white skin got a much needed tan. On March 23rd I got Ant and I some tickets to the Giants night game vs the Rangers. It was a blast! Ant probably wasn't thrilled to have his evening consist of baseball after a full day of it but, he was a trooper! :)) For a couple days Anthony's mom, dad, and little brother decided to drive to AZ to see Ant play some baseball. It was so great seeing them and getting to spend time with them. It had been a while since Ant's family and myself  had seen him play baseball so, it was such a treat to finally be able to watch him play. We even got to meet Ant's House family From Asheville North Carolina. They were the sweetest couple and I could tell they had a special place for their hearts for their "Aggie" (Anthony). Last year when Ant was in North Carolina I couldn't make it out there to his games so, his house family took tons of pictures and made me an Amazing picture book. It meant so much to me. I have been feeling guilty for not being able to be there for him last season in NC but, now I feel much better knowing that he had such great people around him, looking out for him, and capturing these moments I had missed. I am always surprised of all the great, amazing people I meet in this baseball world. After Ant's family left I got to spend some quality time just catching up with Ant. I truly missed those uninterrupted moments where we can just talk and be with each other. My visit to Spring Training ended on the morning of March 28th. I dread goodbyes but, who doesn't. This goodbye was harder than ever because, I don't know when I will be able to see Ant again which made leaving 100 times harder. I am the type of person who gets tears and sad when talking about goodbyes and leaving each other (I am getting emotional as I type this). I arrived at the airport and hugged him goodbye trying to hide my tears behind my sunglasses. My flight left at 9:45am and I arrived at 6:30am because Ant had early work that morning. (note to self: never ever arrive to a departing flight from the one you love early...) All I could think about when I was sitting and waiting for my flight was how can I stay longer and never leave. I never convinced myself to ditch my flight home and I ended up getting on my flight. (BOO!)

My Babe!

Giants Game!

A night out With our Baseball Boys!!!

Post Spring Training Visit Depression:

After visits and getting on Ant's schedule it is always hard to re-adjust back to my life back home. I feel like there is not a second, minute, hour, day, week, or month that goes by that I don't challenge my decision to be long distance and to not travel with Ant on this amazing baseball journey. Of course I am my own person with my own goals and priorities but, life is much better when I am with him. I find myself lately never really happy,  just going through the motions, and wanting time to fly by. But, That is no way to live life.  I feel like a part of me is living in depression because, I can never really find the happiness I feel when I am with Ant. It sucks but, I know that nothing can and should replace the happiness I feel when I am with Ant because, that is a special happiness. Maybe I just need to be happy that I have found my person in this world that makes my life 100 times better.  Anthony's little sister Milan texted me on my flight home from AZ telling me that she made a decision to quit her high school softball team because, it just wasn't making her happy and she was getting really discouraged by it. That small but, oh so meaningful text got me thinking about how important happiness is to a persons health. I replied to her and told her how happy, and proud I was of her for taking control of her life and happiness. Then I told her how strong she is, and how much I admire her for her courage. I  thought How can someone much younger than me already be so strong and passionate with their life and happiness? I wished I could be more selfish with my happiness and my life. Milan really inspired me to not worry about others, or what others think I should do, and just to worry about myself sometimes and do what makes me happy. I am a very self-less person. I put any one and everyone before myself, and I am constantly doing what everyone else wants me to do. So, I have decided to take charge of my life and my happiness like Milan did and do what makes me most happy. So, after I accomplish my goal of graduating college this Spring I am going to go be with the one person who makes me most happy- Anthony. Life is way to short to be unhappy and sad.  I hope these next 2 months fly by and I become a little less depressed and a little happier!!

Thanks Milly!! 

Love you

xoxox-Steph!

STRENGTH,COURAGE, AND HAPPINESS!!

THE SADDEST GOODBYE!

Today: March 3rd, 2012-Minor League Camp For the Colorado Rockies Begins!

I said my goodbye to Anthony Last Sunday February 29th, 2012. In the past our goodbyes have been filled with tears and long hugs. This year our goodbye was short in sweet due to the fact that long drawn out goodbyes filled with multiple hugs and me balling my eyes out don't go over too well. So, we hugged and kissed and I held back my tears till he was out the door, and then I began balling my eyes out. I wish Anthony an amazing season filled with success and good health. I pray every night for Anthony and all the other baseball players, wives, gf's, and wives to be. I pray god gives them all STRENGTH- to get through the obstacles this baseball life-style throws their way. I pray god gives them COURAGE- to make tough, maybe life changing decisions. I pray god gives them HAPPINESS- because, sometimes it is tough to find happiness on days where you feel alone, miss your loved one, and on those long stretches of not seeing each other for months or weeks at a time. This is Anthony and I's 3rd season of doing long distance. I feel like it never gets any easier saying goodbye or being alone. Even though it is my 3rd season and by now I should know what to expect... I truly never do. Baseball is so unpredictable. One day I think one thing and then the next day baseball will have me thinking something else. You can never underestimate baseball because, it is filled with surprises that will throw you for loops. In order for me to stay less focused on Baseball and try to enjoy the ride it puts me  and Anthony on. I fill my everyday from sun up to sun down. Keeping myself busy while Anthony is gone... Is key! I currently have 2.5 months of school left till I graduate, I nanny on my days I don't have school, and recently I have gone on a fitness quest to lose weight and be where I want to be for my wedding day. All in All this keeps me going and takes my mind off Anthony being gone, and baseball! I am not going to lie to you- I secretly have Printed out Calendars and printed Schedules for each of the teams Anthony could be on after Spring training. Each Schedule is  Highlighted on the weeks to visit him, games I could possible go to, and fun summer plans too keep distracted. I am a planner. I love being organized, and having things drawn out on paper so, I can physically see what I have to do and, what I have to look forward too. Long Distance is tough. Probably one of the toughest things our relationship will endure. We have gone a total of 6 months without visits, or seeing each other. If we can get through that, I am confident we can get through anything god or life throws our way!! 

Stay Positive, and Try to find the Beauty in your everyday!! :) 

xoxox- Steph!  :))

BASEBALL HOW I LOVE YOU.... (Sarcasm)

BASEBALL HOW I LOVE YOU...

The off season is slowly coming to an end. There is about a month left before Ant has to leave me and return to his other love, BASEBALL. (sad sigh) This off season has been filled with so many great memories and fun times. Ant recently put a ring on it (WOO-HOO). So, I am excited to say that within the next year and a half I will be marrying the man of my dreams, my best friend, and partner in crime Anthony Louis Aguilera. ha ha. I am beyond excited about being engaged and planning the big day. But, not so excited about the goodbye I have to prepare myself for in the next month. (Boo) Is it just me or around the last month of the off season everything becomes a fight because I become this sad, insecure, needy person...? (please say it is not just me) This will be my 3rd year saying goodbye to Ant as he leaves me for yet another spring training  and baseball season. Your probably thinking I should be a pro at goodbyes by now... Well, truth is I have gotten a lot better. I no longer go cry my eyes out in my bedroom for days. I now say goodbye and cry for like 2 hours. (baby steps) How does someone get used to saying goodbye to their loved one? It just is not an easy thing to do... I feel so blessed everyday in the off season that I get to wake up and see his face, I try so hard not to take any of the time we have together for granted, and I know we are fortunate to not continue a long distance relationship in the off season, like many others have too. I thank god everyday for my many blessings and the opportunity he has given Anthony with baseball. I love baseball and the happiness it brings Ant but, to be honest I am not such a fan of the tears, lonely nights, and stress it brings me as his support team. The off season is like the stress-free, relax, happy time. (basically, I come out of depression in the off season) This baseball life is full of unpredictable moments, stress, anxiety, and tears. But, this baseball life is also full of excitement, living in the moment, greatness, and tears of joy... So, i guess what i am saying is I will take the stress, anxiety, and tears any day because I know those glimpses of greatness and pure joy are worth it all. I don't know what this season has in store for us but, what I love about the beginning of the season and spring training is anything is possible and no dream is far fetched. (California League... Please ha ha)  

Shout out to all the other baseball girlfriends, fiances, and wives you guys are amazing. And to all the amazing bloggers who also share their stories and advice Thank you, because you have helped me get through so much. Just knowing there are other girls out there that go through and feel how i do truly does help. love love love...