Wednesday, June 29, 2011

love, life, and Baseball!

As I sit here listening to Anthony's game ( he isnt playing tonight but i still like to listen) i cant help but think about how much i miss him and how one phone call one day almost 2 years ago has changed my life.

This August is my 22nd birthday and i cant help but think back on my life and my relationship with anthony. We have been together just about 3 years now.  I have recently been thinking about how much baseball has changed my life, Anthony's life, and our Relationship. We spend 6 months or 12 months apart with lil visits if possible. And during the 6 months he is done with baseball i share him with his family that lives down south. Its a constant long distance relationship but we have found ways to make it work. Its not the ideal situation but, i believe in my heart that one day i will have the ideal situation and all the hard times and time apart will make sense.

I have been caught up lately and kinda confused asking myself a lot of questions about baseball and life! First off i wanna start off by saying long distance relationships are hard but, throw in being a baseball players girlfriend who's boyfriend plays in the minor leagues where their is little to no money. and on top of that a undrafted, picked up free agent baseball players girlfriend. Everyday is a blessing with baseball for Anthony every year he is asked back and not cut is a miracle due to the fact that he isnt invested in with baseball. he was just a free agent given a chance to live out his dream with no money offered. Such a Blessing!  I cant help but ask myself sometimes is baseball my dream? is it just Anthony's dream? is it our dream? or is it his dream and i just support it?

Truth is the question is easier asked then answered... I myself have invested so much into baseball like Anthony has i almost feel it is my dream too now. I get caught up in the decisions his coaches make about him and where he will be placed, if he will be starting the game, and just how they treat him as a player. But, as a girlfriend i am the support system i cant let those things get to me... or i can let them get to me and frustrate me but, i just cant express that frustration because then thats not fair to Anthony. Its a tough spot... you experience the ups the downs with them and your the rock for them to come to but sometimes you just want to vent with them but, you cant you have to be there to always pick them up and say you are great you worked so hard don't let this get you down... when really you are thinking those  pieces of shits why wont they give him a damn chance, he deserves it !!! hahaha  The answer to my question is simple said but hard to do. I am the support, its his dream, its my dream, and its our dream. The dream is hard to fully achieve and understand,  it throws you for loops, gives you bad days, gives you great days, the dream is baseball... its a game! A game that my boyfriend loves and has made his life for the time being and sense he is a big part of my life so is baseball!!!

You make sacrifices for the one you love! you give up pieces of things you want so they can have what they want. you make their happiness a priority in your life! life is tough but its easier to laugh, love, and forgive then to be upset, dwell, and hate!

love the life you live and if you don't change it or try to make it better!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment