Monday, August 1, 2011
It is finally August!!!!!
Let the countdown begin!!!!
Thank god it is finally August, other wise I would probably go insane!!! ha ha It has been way too long sense I last saw Anthony!!! I know lately my blog has been mostly about Anthony or our relationship and a tad bit lovey dovey but, I just can't help it I love the kid, and I am so gosh darn excited he is coming home in a month!!!
But, with Anthony coming home it arises so many questions in my poor little head!!!!!! yikes...
I am not going to lie my relationship has its high and low points. A lot of our problems tend to come from Baseball, unplanned futures, long distance, and me over thinking and over analyzing everything ha ha. I have chosen this summer to put aside my feelings on everything and choose my battles. I choose not to fight about every little thing that bugs me or upsets me like I used to do because that would just make for an unhappy relationship so, instead I pick my battles. I have learned to speak kinder when I am mad and address the issue and speak without frustration (this is sometimes hard and I need to take a 5 minute break to cool down before I proceed with the conversation ha ha). I have started to accept things instead of thinking the baseball world is against me and i have stopped taking things so personal and just enjoyed the ride and I laugh about the silly things. I used to think I was strong before baseball but, now after baseball has entered my life along with long distance I have realized I am NOW strong and mentally tough! ha ha
Most of Anthony and my fights consist of me worrying about our future!! Last night I unloaded on Anthony with Text Messages ha ha Poor guy was asleep it was midnight in North Carolina but, it was only 9:00 in California so, of course I was up to think about a whole lot!! (can I just say I hate time difference ha ha) Anyways, back to me unloading with texts on my poor asleep innocent boyfriend... Baseball can really drive a girlfriend to go nuts, crazy, and worry about things she has never worried about before. My texts to Anthony all were regarding my future and our future together. I am in no hurry to get married and have a family for I am only going to be 22 but, I would be lying if I said it never crossed my mind. Truth is I do want to marry Anthony and I truly believe he is my soul mate and when the time is right I know in my heart it will happen! I worry a lot about our future and how unstable it is due to baseball, long distance, and both of our families being from different parts of California! With me entering my last year of college and graduating this upcoming spring I have a lot of questions I need answered but, Anthony doesn't have the answers right now because, he just doesn't know where his future is with baseball or how long he will be living this lifestyle... So here is my dilemma and what I unloaded on him last night while he was asleep!! My dilemma is After i graduate do I find a big girl job and pursue a life with my hard earned college degree and eventually get my own place in San Jose? or do I go out to where ever Anthony is for baseball and be with him and watch him pursue his baseball dreams? Or do I do my 3rd season of long distance and wait till off season 2012 and live with him in Southern California and figure it out from there!? UGH... so many questions and ZERO answers to them all. not fun!! especially not fun when you got all these questions and your unloading them on your asleep boyfriend who doesn't wake up for anything ha ha! All my girlfriends tell me I should take time off after college graduation and be with Anthony but, I am just scared if I put the real world on hold for so long and just live the baseball life with my sweet man I will never fully get out there and accomplish the things I want to with my hard earned degree! ugh what to do what to do? ha ha
Happy August Everyone!!